Hello Friend
Happy New Year 🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉
My prayer for you this year is that you come to understand the love God has for you, recognise and know Him without a doubt, and respond to His love and mercy in Jesus’ name.
In our ongoing series about waiting, we will explore the distinction between what we want and what we need in a life partner. One time, I had an interesting conversation with a colleague on our way home from work. As we chatted about various topics, he reflected on his past relationships—he is now happily married. I pointed out the common belief that men often know what they want when they meet someone special; they can tell if she is someone they might want to marry. His response was thought-provoking: while men may have clear wants, those wants can be numerous, leading them to ultimately decide on what they truly need. This made me consider the question of what we genuinely need in a life partner, in addition to what we desire. A key way to understand this is through self-discovery and developing a relationship with God, which can guide us to recognise who a suitable partner is for us as we journey through life.
In Psalm 40:7–8, David expresses a deep and joyful commitment to doing God’s will: “Behold, I come; in the scroll of the book it is written of me; I delight to do your will, my God; your law is within my heart.” These words reveal a heart that does not merely obey God out of duty, but delights in His commands and treasures His Word. Similarly, Proverbs 3:5–7 MSG calls us to place our full trust in the Lord and listen out for His voice rather than leaning on our own understanding (This means God does speak, it’s a relationship, fellowship, communion; He is not a mean God, He always leads us from a place of genuine love). We are encouraged to acknowledge Him in all our ways, with the promise that He will direct our paths. His yoke is easy; His burden is light (Matthew 11:28-30).
Scripture reminds us not to elevate our own wisdom, but to fear the Lord and walk humbly in dependence on Him. This biblical wisdom also helps us discern the difference between what we want and what we truly need. Needs are essential for our spiritual, emotional, and physical well-being, while wants are desires that may enrich our lives but are not vital. When applied to relationships—particularly in choosing a life partner—needs reflect the core, non-negotiable qualities that support a God-honouring, stable, and fulfilling relationship. Wants, on the other hand, are personal preferences that may enhance the relationship but are not essential to its success. By seeking God’s will above our own desires, we learn to prioritise what truly matters and trust Him to shape our relationships according to His perfect plan.
It is important to note that as Christians who have committed our lives to God, we are on a continuous journey of surrender, navigating our desires each day. It is vital to understand that what we truly need is closely aligned with God’s purpose and plan for us. God’s perspective focuses on the future He knows (He is Omnipotent, Ominipresent and Ominiscient), rather than the present circumstances we see. His thoughts and ways differ significantly from ours (Isaiah 55: 8-10)
When considering a partner, it is essential to look beyond mere feelings and appearances as appearance is not always the reality. Do not get me wrong, these things do matter; but I have discovered they do develop over time. In the right circumstance and situation, people bloossom physically and feelings mature from just tingles to intentional choices to love. Love is more of a choice than a feeling. Ask yourself: Can this person truly support you in the long run? Do they align with your divine purpose? Do they know who and whose they are? Do they know where they are going? Are they teachable? among other things.
In Genesis 2:18 KJV, the scripture speaks of a “help meet.” Often, we see this term combined into one word, “helpmeet,” but in the Bible, it is two distinct words: “help” and “meet.” It refers to a helper who meets a specific need; this shows suitability, complementary. The Amplified Bible version states, “It is not good (beneficial) for a man to be alone; I will make him a helper (one who balances him, a counterpart who is) suitable and complementary for him.”
Not everyone we meet will be the right match for us or contribute to our growth (and vice-versa). This is not a reflection of their character (or our character) but rather a result of differing paths amongst other things. When we try to journey together, even the best individuals can create friction that impacts our emotions and overall journey. Not everyone draws out our best qualities, and not everyone is meant to accompany us on our life’s journey. Therefore, recognising who we belong to is crucial, as it enables God to guide us in identifying those who are genuinely suitable for our lives. Often, our desires can cloud our judgment, but when we surrender our will to God, our needs will align more closely with His plan for us. In doing so, we can echo the words of Jesus in Matthew 26 vs 39 (WUEST version), “not as I desire but as you desire,” embracing God’s desires and will above our own.
Until the next post, I would like to pray over your from John 1:16 AMP and Colossians 1:10 AMP
May you encounter Jesus, and have an experiential knowledge of Him. May you become more aware of Him and experience His fullness progressively and steadily. May His truth be revealed in your heart, the superabundance of His grace and truth. That your eyes and heart recognise and live in the blessings that He has provided and you encounter favour upon favour and gift upon gifts. May you be able to steward well that which He has given you and that your life become a conduit of His love.
This I ask and belive you will receive in Jesus name. Amen
Have a victorious week. You are more than a conqueror.
